The Daily Retard Blog about Stupid People Idiots and Morons on Video

OK, for those you who have difficulty with numbers…. as of the time of this posting (Halloween 2009), the national debt is just shy of 12 TRILLION DOLLARS. That is 12 followed by 12 FUCKING ZEROS. It is really an almost incomprehensible number. It helps just slightly when you break it down to what it costs each US Citizen (as of Halloween 2009 it’s almost $39,000.00 per citizen). I hope you fuckers appreciate the extra time I took from my busy schedule of bitching about everything to find a widget-thingy that would show the national debt in terms of cost per citizen that was NOT full of annoying popup ads. The only fucking ads showing on this little bloggy here are ones The Retard gets paid for. Because like I said, web hosting ain’t free, dumbass.
Anyway, this post is gonna be stickied to the top of the Daily Retard blog for as long as the site runs before the assault on the Constitution being carried out by Oba-Marx is finally successful in getting the First Amendment and my right to free speech repealed. God willing, that will never happen….

As it has come to my attention that my language might be considered offensive to some of the more delicate readers here, I thought I would address this issue. First, notice the “Parental Advisory” warning up above. If words like SHIT,FUCK,ASS,BITCH,HELL,ETC…. offend you, feel free to fuck the fucking fuck off and get the fuck out of here. This is my fucking blog and I will say whatever the fuck I fucking want to, whether any of you fucks fucking like it or not. In fucking fact, here’s a fucking video I found on fucking youtube about just how fucking usefel the fucking word “fuck” is. Fuck!

Now, it is WELL worth the 2-1/2 minutes it take to watch this video. Although it is an older one and I am SURE you’ve seen it before, it never fails to crack me up.
Now, onto the reason WHY I swear so much. In a word- anger. But anger doesn’t really begin to cover it. I left a little comment over at my buddy Dr. Dave’s Feed Your ADHD Blog where I went a little further into detail, and now I will put this fucking issue to bed here and now, for you readers, forever.
The shit that I see these liberal cocksuckers in Washington doing pisses me the fuck off. It makes me seeth. I get so fucking mad I shake my fists and hit things. I pound on my couch. I scream at the top of my lungs. I pound on the center console of my big gas-guzzling, rain-forest-destroying, global-warming-contributing, Hemi-powered, redneck-driven, big-ass, bad-ass Dodge Ram. I RAGE at what these people are doing to the country. I get absolutely fucking IRATE that people couldn’t see this coming when the obamoron asspuppet was campaining, spewing his outright lies and bullshit. I watch the news and see the continued flood of more and more lies and I want to throw a brick through my TV set. I listed to people who still think that these liberal asshole fuckheads are doing a good job and I want to hit them in the face with a hammer. I watch the mainstream lapdog kissass media and I realize that, for a good many Americans, this is their ONLY source of news and it makes me absolutely fucking psychotic. Every time I see hussein on TV spouting off his unending string of bullshit, outright lies and campaign-speak I get so fucking mad I can’t see straight. I read about our good American boys killed overseas fighting a war our Communist-in-Chief refuses to support and it tears my heart out. I see the daily assault on our Founding Fathers principles, the Constitution, our Bill of Rights, personal liberties, economic freedom and the Federalist ideals upon which this great country was founded. All these things are literally being pissed on DAILY by the liberal assholes in Washington and I get so fucking MAD I don’t know what else to do but let it out here. So, now you know…..
I am gonna end this post with a picture I found over at The Black Sphere. I am NOT an artistic person, but this image sums up in great detail the point of this post, my blog in general, and my feelings as a whole about what is going on and why I do what I do.

This is a re-post of Dr. Dave’s (aka Snarky Basterd) most excellent post at Feed Your ADHD. As he encourages it to be reposted, I did so and would also tell all you Retard readers to do the same. Get this out to as many places as you can, because EVERYONE in America needs to see this. Even though the Commie-crats seem to be losing support DAILY for their retarded bullshit bills, they WILL continue to shove this down our collective throats and up our collective asses, and it MUST be stopped at any cost. Enjoy the read, then get to sharing it with everyone you know who has a pulse!

An open letter inspired by this.

Dear Every Senator:

You shall not pass this monstrosity Harry Reid calls health “reform” because in your twisted arrogance you are blind, unable to see everyone around you recoiling in horror, from the left to the moderate to the right to the voice of the American people expressed in every last poll spewing from the MSM. You know when CNN reports, actually reports, such widespread discontent that you people haven’t the capacity to see beyond the fog of the Twilight Zone surrounding your District of Criminals.

You shall not pass this bill because we back here in flyover country know that whatever form it eventually takes at 8:30 p.m. this Christmas Eve, after you add a slew of amendments that weigh it down like rocks strapped to a hit vic, will be only scaffolding for the final hell you and the House will consummate and birth in committee next January, a bill that will kill the only healthcare in the world worth paying for, a bill that will blanket this country with single-payer care (despite claims otherwise), a bill that will destroy our options and stifle our liberty and not even remotely resemble your pResident’s hollow mantra of “hope.”

You shall not pass this bill because we cannot sustain your shopping spree. While the number of federal employees making over $100,000 has doubled in the past 18 months, and you just gave them a raise, the unemployment rate in this country is 10 percent and higher in many states you represent and not even close to getting better. In fact, the worst is yet to come. You’ve already sent us barreling beyond the legal debt limit and still you spend more so that you can travel far and wide, fatcat politicians laying claim to an endless stream of someone else’s money: OURS. You shall not pass this bill because it will break this country.

Via Twitpic

You shall not pass this bill because this country doesn’t need another liberty controlling shell game disguised as “entitlement.” You already have entire generations of people under the loving arm of the Motherland, nuzzling against her for comfort and care, in health (we’ll get to “in sickness” in good time). You shall not pass this bill because it is NOT free and it will NOT do any good, except boost you’re own inflated and egotistical and maniacal sense of “making history.”

You shall not pass this bill because you do not want to one day regret knowing that, by shoving everyone into the same healthcare plan, you destroyed our chances for ever grabbing a doctor’s time (otherwise known as creating “rationing”). You do not want to regret forcing people to become intimate with the wonderful world of waiting lists, as if we’re standing at the back of a line snaking outside our doctor’s waiting room into the hallway and outside the front door and across the street, stretching to the other side of the county. You do not want to regret forcing people to spend their waiting time being more productive than ever before … by reading War and Peace. While that’s unintended enrichment right there, Creator of Quality health care in the time it takes to read Tolstoy is not an epitaph you one day want chiseled on your tombstone.

You shall not pass this bill because you do not want to chase every smart kid who ever wanted to be a doctor away from medical school. Since doctors already earn less, thanks to Medicare and Medicaid, your health “reform” would push would-be medical students into something else, like garbage collection … or undertaking. Those two businesses are easily the least likely to fall under your government control anytime soon. Garbage is money, always has been (ask The Mob); and for med students, taking care of the dead would be just a few steps away from operating on the live, without the $300,000 in student loan debt or the hassles of malpractice insurance.

You shall not pass this bill because you do not want be responsible for the invention of doctor trailer parks. Under Obamacare, doctors who stay in the biz (due either to their own altruistic reasons or, more likely, to government extortion in exchange for the forgiveness of student loans or practice-related debt) will experience the community joy of public assistance, using food stamps to fill a shelf or two of their refrigerators (if they even have electricity). They’ll sell their homes at a loss and move into federal trailer parks for doctors, seeing patients out of the back room to cut down on practice overhead. The parks will have names like Bones Village and Blue Star Doctors Park and Good Samaritan Estates and take the place of hospitals, saving the federal government billions annually (because, naturally, we’ll have to bail out hospitals by then, too). They’ll become tourist destinations; we’ll plan vacations around our doctor visits and then tour the grounds, letting little Jimmy ride his first x-ray machine in exchange for a $5,000 admission fee. Universities will offer classes about them, with names like Contemporary Medical Trailer Park Economics and Staph Infection in the Trailer Park Hospital. You Congresscriminals, meanwhile, will continue to conduct annual hearings on the State of the American Healthcare Crisis.

You shall not pass this bill because you do not want to create an entirely new travel industry. Under Obamacare, if you get cancer, you can see the world (or what’s left of it) after the Government Health Rationing Board rules you ineligible for care, saving the taxpayers (by then) billions. You’ll use your retirement savings, or what’s left after you pulled them out of the market just before The Crash of ’12 and hid them under a stone in the hearth, to take a fishing boat to Haiti, the ocean cruise business having gone under and Americans no longer visiting any country east of Bermuda after nuclear ballistic missiles, unable to reach North or South America, wiped out every other continent during Iranian President Ahmed Ahmadinejad’s failed attempts to annihilate Washington. You’ll meet a witch doctor who will make you drink chicken’s blood and mumble incantations while stuffing his face in a bong during a 4-hour ceremony to exorcise your tumor. Amazingly, you’ll recover and come back to America and live a long and healthy life, taking annual vacations (by row boat, since you’re now broke) to Haiti for preventive health care.

You shall not pass this bill because you do not want to be responsible for creating less congestion in hospital emergency rooms … for all the wrong reasons. Under Obamacare, your typical accident victim will be treated only if they still have more than 75% of their blood and all of their limbs and at least 90% cognitive function (no substitutes, please). This will preserve the dwindling blood supply and eliminate the waste of resources required to keep a patient on life support. (Plus, it will help save the planet!) And think of the boon for transplantation! Why, with all of the accident victims unworthy of treatment ending up dead, we’ll have mobile organ harvesting sites outside each doctors’ trailer park. Donor waiting lists will become obsolete … that is, of course, if the recipients are still working and able to pay their share of taxes in support of the Motherland.

You shall not pass this bill because, if ACORN can sue the federal government over funding cuts, you can bet your sweet ass millions of people in this country will gladly contribute to organizations willing to bombard you with lawsuits that will hold up your monstrosity for decades in courts. You shall not pass this bill because you can also bet your sweet ass that millions of us will refuse to purchase your mandated health insurance. You do not want to be the reason federal courts start stuffing American people into cells at the new Thomson Penitentiary for Enemy Combatants for refusing to submit to your unconstitutional authority to fine us and jail us and even shoot us over our healthcare insurance.

And we will resist.

Finally, you shall not pass this bill because you are supposed to be the voice of the people. You represent the state from which you were elected. You do not represent yourselves. You do not represent an arrogant and indecisive and thieving and weak president who is on the wrong side of what is right and on the wrong side of history. When it comes right down to it, you shall not pass this bill because, if you do, you can kiss your life in the District of Criminals goodbye; we, the right-wing teabagging mobsters living out here in flyover country, which curiously includes the states you represent, will make sure your careers of public indecent exposure will skid to an embarrassing and resounding and infinitely final halt in 2010 or 2012 or whenever you’re next election happens to be.

Count on it.

I encourage everyone to steal and repost this and to send it to their senator, Republican or Democrat or Independent. The vote of our lifetime is bearing down on us. We MUST stop it now.

I haven’t really mentioned idiot golf pro Tiger Woods yet, mostly because I think people can pretty much do whatever the fuck they want as long as it doesn’t bother anyone else. Then I got to thinking that running around fucking women all over the country without your wife’s knowledge *might* be a little bit bothersome, plus I had said for years that Tiger Woods is an asspuppet, plus most if not all “professional” athletes are idiots, plus I have golf, AND I got a couple funnies in the email this morning so I thought I would share them here….

It is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students have turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early dismissal.

Johnny: “TIGER WOODS. CAN I GO NOW?”

This is just gonna be a quick one from the Retard today, but it’s well worth reading on many levels from the blatantly obvious to the genuinely sublime. Got it in an email from a cousin of mine, and I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. I have no idea who the guy is, where he teaches or even if it’s a scan job of one of the pictures people use for building “professional-looking” websites, but it works with the story so what the hell….

As the late Adrian Rogers said, “you cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.”

An economics professor at a local college made a statement that he had never failed a single student before, but had once failed an entire class.

That class had insisted that Obama’s socialism worked and that no one would be poor and no one would be rich, a great equalizer.

The professor then said, “OK, we will have an experiment in this class on Obama’s plan.”

All grades would be averaged and everyone would receive the same grade so no one would fail and no one would receive an A.

After the first test, the grades were averaged and everyone got a B.

The students who studied hard were upset and the students who studied little were happy.

As the second test rolled around, the students who studied little had studied even less and the ones who studied hard decided they wanted a free ride too so they studied little.

The second test average was a D! No one was happy.

When the third test rolled around, the average was an F.

The scores never increased as bickering, blame and name-calling all resulted in hard feelings and no one would study for the benefit of anyone else. All failed, to their great surprise, and the professor told them that socialism would also ultimately fail because when the reward is great, the effort to succeed is great but when government takes all the reward away, no one will try or want to succeed.

Could not be any simpler than that. (Please pass this on)

Remember, there is a mid-term election in 2010!

Many, not all, of the people up for re-election are very concerned- not necessarily for you or me- but for themselves. I encourage each of you to become informed and VOTE for what you believe in and want accomplished by the people elected BY YOU.

Well, as my good buddy Dr. Dave was kind enough to point out via a well-deserved comment on this post, I managed to get not-so-daily again…. So here I am, back at it and mad as fucking hell at the Goddamn liberal fucktards running this Country (into the ground…). First, a little picture for y’all. I imagine you have seen it before, but it’s so damn true that it bears re-posting. I don’t know where it came from, I grabbed it from a webmaster message board. But obviously it was taken somewhere in Texas.

Now as if that simple fact isn’t glaringly obvious, you owe it to yourself to watch this video of Al Gore on CNN trying to say that the ClimateGate emails are “out of context” and a “controversy without real substance”. Now, the asskissing in this clip is enough to make my fucking stomach turn, and seeing Al Gore makes me want to smash things with a hammer, but you owe it to yourself to watch it and see the kind of bullshit these liberal fuckheads continue to spew, when faced with undeniable proof of the junk science that is global warming.

These fuckhead treehugging idiot dumbfuck jackass retarded fuckhead morons are so out of touch with reality there really is no hope for them. And Al Gore has got to be the ringleader of the three ring circus of lies and bullshit, even though HE ADMITS HE HASN’T READ ALL THE EMAILS. This is the kind of shit that happens when you take a bunch of elitist liberal dumbasses like college professors and PHD’s, give them a BUNCH of government grants to play around in labs to advance your ridiculous liberal agenda of “global warming” and they actually discover the truth- that there is no such thing. But- if the truth were to get out, how many millions (or billions) of dollars would they lose? Not to mention the fact that they would be forced to face the fact that their own beliefs are dead wrong. These fucking asspuppets- Al Gore, the “scientists” (and I use that term pretty loosely in this case), the fuckheads at this Copenhagen summit, and every other stupid liberal tree-hugging, Prius-driving, global-warming-believing idiot on the planet- are a bunch of soul-less pieces of whaleshit and they all deserve to rest at the bottom of the ocean because after all, that’s where the whaleshit belongs.

For the purpose of this discussion, I am referring to the dumbass liberals inside the beltway, that merry bunch of elected fuckheads responsible for the current state of affairs in this country and in such complete and total blind denial of the damage they have already caused and continue to cause that they march ever forward advancing their Marxist agenda without a single thought or consideration to what they are doing to our Country. I think what the REAL problem with these fucktards is that they are so totally insulated from any semblance of what normal Americans call reality they honestly have NO CLUE what they are doing to us. Look for a minute at the strongholds of so-called liberals in our society- the Hollywood elite, tenured college professors (and the education system in general), organized labor union leaders and the mainstream media. I mean, for Christ’s sake! NO ONE in ANY of those groups has EVER had an actual job, any idea how to actually work for a living, no idea how to create anything, no experience whatsoever in the real world. And THESE are the people that are “advising” the dumbass liberals who currently hold an overwhelming and likely unconstitutional majority in Washington. How the fuck can you blame them for their stupidity?? I mean, if dumbass liberals had any common sense, they wouldn’t BE liberal so the puppets continue to let the above-mention groups of fucking retarded idiot morons continue to pull their strings, rather than listening to the deafening (and growing DAILY) roar of the American public SCREAMING at them that we don’t want the bill of goods they are trying to sell- by “sell” of course I mean shove down our collective throats and shove up our collective asses.

So I was driving around today in my big-ass Hemi-powered, rainforest-destroying, gas-guzzling Dodge Ram and listening to talk radio and I heard some numbers that actually made me smile from ear to fucking ear…. Apparently, depending on the source, Ba-Cracked Insane Obamarx’s approval numbers are anywhere from the mid-40’s to the upper 30’s- inching ever closer to actually being lower the unemployment rate which as you recall I predicted would happen. A mere 30% of Americans approve of what the dumass liberals in Congress are doing. 30 FUCKING PERCENT! Are you kidding me? For a government of the polls, by the polls and for the polls you would THINK this MIGHT get the fuckheads to take a little notice but so far I haven’t seen it. But this last one here is my favorite- nearly HALF the country would rather still have Dubya as president than the current Obamination living in the religion-neutral-for-Christmas White House. What more proof do you need that the jackass hates America? What the FUCK is more American than Christmas??? One more bit of good news- 20% of Americans want Ba-Cracked Insane Obamarx impeached! I have no idea what the HELL is wrong with the other 80%, but I guess the “hope” I have is that they will “change” their minds….