The Daily Retard Blog about Stupid People Idiots and Morons on Video

I haven’t really mentioned idiot golf pro Tiger Woods yet, mostly because I think people can pretty much do whatever the fuck they want as long as it doesn’t bother anyone else. Then I got to thinking that running around fucking women all over the country without your wife’s knowledge *might* be a little bit bothersome, plus I had said for years that Tiger Woods is an asspuppet, plus most if not all “professional” athletes are idiots, plus I have golf, AND I got a couple funnies in the email this morning so I thought I would share them here….

It is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students have turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early dismissal.

Johnny: “TIGER WOODS. CAN I GO NOW?”

So it turns out Rush got pwned by some liberal faggot who wrote up a “fake” thesis written by king hussein during his college years, back when he was just a budding socialist and merely nuturing his Chosen One complex. Following is the passage that raised such a hub-ub:
“… the Constitution allows for many things, but what it does not allow is the most revealing. The so-called Founders did not allow for economic freedom. While political freedom is supposedly a cornerstone of the document, the distribution of wealth is not even mentioned. While many believed that the new Constitution gave them liberty, it instead fitted them with the shackles of hypocrisy.”
So apparently that little passage was cooked up by some, well- liberal faggot worked before so I’ll stick with that term. Let me ask you this- any good right-thinking reader of The Daily Retard doesn’t have to stretch much to realize whether or not the Obama-ron actually laid pen to paper and scribbled out such a ridiculous bunch of Ameria-haitng bullshit, he sure as fucking hell believes in the idea written there.
We are talking about a president who cannot help himself but run around the globe openly advertising his hatred and contempt for America. A president who sees the Constitution as an obstacle, as my buddy Rush is so fond of saying. A president who, with every day in office continues his illegal assault on our rights and freedoms with every speech he makes, every bill he promotes and every single piece of legislation he supports and signs.The man should be impeached. Period and end of fucking story. I will go so far as to say that every idiot in America who actually voted for him should be held personally liable for the destruction he has caused so far. Why in the FUCK should me and my family be stuck with the massive bartab he and his fuckhead communist congress-idiots have managed to run up? After all, all those liberal faggots who said the same shit about Dubya when he was in charge decided “I didn’t vote for him so he’s not my president”, so I think it’s only fair we conservatives are afforded the same protection in our thoughts and words AND freedom from keeping those scumsucking fuckbags the hell out of paychecks.
Anyway, I have a couple interesting little graphics I thought I would share with you, as well as a great YouTube video that was shared via comment from a good buddy- tellitlikeitis. Enjoy this stuff!

Oh, and one more thing…. I finally got around to setting up a twitter account for my little blog-thingy here, so click this fucking link and follow The Daily Retard on Twitter! One of these days I’ll figure out how to tweet via SMS and then you will really be in for a ranting fucking treat. How great will it be for you to know about each and every single little stupid fucking thing that pisses me off, rather than just these expletive-laced tirades full of funny pictures and Al Franken (the FUCKHEAD) YouTube Videos?

OK, first of all you fuckers might wanna bookmark this one…. I am gonna apologize. And mark my words THAT don’t happen very often. I am sorry it has been 2 weeks since I posted anything. While the name of my little blog is The Daily Retard, that don’t necessarily mean I have to post daily but it does mean I should do a better job of finding some puke to spew at least every couple days- not weeks. So again, I apologize. It will be a long motherfucking time before you hear that again so like I said, you better bookmark this….

Brett Favre is a Moron

Brett Favre... Retired or Retarded???

With that, lets get on to the fuckheads. I wanna start with Brett Favre. Now I have never made any secret of the fact that, with the exception of a few hockey players I HATE professional athletes. There are many many reasons why and I won’t bore you with the details here and now, but suffice it to say that the ranks of the NFL, NBA and the MLB are FULL of people so fucking stupid they couldn’t get a job as an assistant manager at a fucking Dairy Queen, and THAT is really an unfair thing to say to DQ…. But, and this is painful to admit being that I am from Minnesota, I always kinda liked Brett Favre. I don’t give enough of a fuck about the Vikings and football to even pay attention to the scores of the games, but I always kinda thought Brett Favre had some class…. Not so, any more, apparently. I mean, how many fucking times is the guy gonna retire???? I heard on the radio on my way into work today (the WORST job in the world but that is a subject for another day) that there are more rumors that, even though he has already said he is NOT playing for the ViQueens, that may have changed. Again. Jesus Fucking Christ, Brett, just go away….. You have no respect left anywhere, just go back to Louisiana, get some beer and narcotics and bottle out…..

Michael Vick….

Michael Vick... Redeemed or Retarded????

OK, now you have all heard that convicted dog-killer Michael Vick was paroled and reinstated to the NFL. There has been a HUGE uproar about the reinstatement and whether or not he should be allowed to play pro football and earn all that money, scumbag that he is. Don’t get me wrong- I am by NO MEANS a dog lover, but let’s face it- dog fighting is not OK. And for fuck’s sake- why in the HELL would a man with Vick’s talent allowed himself to be involved in such an activity. It’s purely fucking retarded and there is no other way to say it…. BUT! Hold the phone, you idiots…. He has paid his debt to society. He was charged, tried, convicted and sentanced under the American legal system. He has served his time and is now a free man. Free to exercise his constitutional rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. That is the way the system works, like it or not. So if the NFL- which is already loaded down with scumbags, losers, fuckheads, murderers, felons and more douchebags that should legally be allowed to gather in one place at one time for fear of the spontaneous creation of some sort of immorality black hole that could potentially implode the entire North American continent on any given Sunday- decides to let him back in then so be it. One more loser douchebag one way or the other on the rosters of the NFL is really not going to make any difference and quite honestly, the people who are against his reinstatement are attempting to further punish a man who has already done his time. So let him back in, it only serves to reinforce my contention that professional sports as a whole is, outside the elected officials in Washington, is the biggest collection of losers, idiots, morons, retards, douchebags, lowlives and just general scum of the earth on the planet. I won’t be watching anyway….

Here is something else new we are gonna be doing on every post. The parting shot. Why? because it’s my fucking blog and I can do what I want…. But seriously, most of the shit I write about here, as retarded as it is, is somewhat depressing. And the parting shot will serve as a way to have a good laugh at the end of a tirade about some fuckhead or another. So without further ado, here is today’s.

The boat goes in FIRST, you shithead!

Alright boys, girls and liberal left wing scumsucking douchebags…. I KNOW it’s been like 2 weeks since I posted and this is SUPPOSED to be a daily thing. Hey, fucking sue me- it shouldn’t be too hard to find a loser douchebag ambulance-chasing cocksucker wanna-be college graduate of a lowlife attorney asshole with a Cracker-Jack diploma to take your case, but I digress…. That HAS been known to happen…..
Anyway, I thought I would share with you some thoughts I have on the whole clusterfuck known as Obamacare, or as I like to call it, Fuck-No-Bama-Care.
As well as that absolute fucking I-Just-Stomped-All-Over-My-Presidential-Cock-And-I-Need-Hillary-To-Kiss-It-And-Make-It-Better Debacle known as The Cambridge Massachusetts Police Department is a Bunch Of Idiots Incident, which you may more easily recognize as Obamaron and his Racist FuckHead Loser DoucheBag Hardvard Professor Buddy Henry Louis “I Hate White People” Gates Story.

So first things first- Obamacare. Better known as the Single Payer System, also known as the assfuck health insurance plan that isn’t currently working in Canada, or Europe, or ANYWHERE ELSE it has been tried- and failed miserably, also known as the plan that EVERYONE ON THE FACE OF THIS MISERABLE FUCKING PLANET is telling that arrogant douchebag racist retard (Obama-Lama-Ding-Dong) NOT to do but he is convinced to do anyway.
Can you IMAGINE what will happen when you put the government in charge of YOUR health care??? I mean, we are talking about people who have meetings to plan meetings to plan a meeting to figure out how to plan a meeting to have a meeting! These are the same bunch of retarded fucking morons who spend $500 on a hammer! $700 dollars on a toilet seat! These are the idiots who actually voted for and signed that porkbarrel pile of pigshit known as the “Stimulus Bill”. For God’s sake people, there is NOTHING on this planet the government can touch without assfucking it into oblivion, and you idiots who voted for Hussein actually want to give them control over maybe the last thing we can actually call our own- our physical well-being? ANYONE who thinks this is a good idea should not just be charged with treason and thown out of the fucking country, I really think THIS is the time to bring back Tar-and-Feathers! I mean, the good folks of conservative talk radio have literally beaten this point to death, so I will spare you another tirade- just think of this: all you liberal progressive fuckhead idiots out there who actually WATCH Jon and Kate ask yourself this simple question…. Under ObamoronCare- how would that ankle of a twat been approved to have the treatments it would have taken to spawn that group of idiots you all are so fascinated with? I am willing to bet that under the new “progressive” system- the only way ANYONE would have a snowball’s chance in HELL of getting infertility treatment would be to sign some sort of blood oath that you, your retarded kids, THEIR kids and everyone else in your family would vote Communist FOREVER, under penalty of death. I mean, shit like that is the ONLY way their so-called liberal “logic” would be allowed to continue…. And don’t even get me STARTED on the other end of the human timeline…
Imagine, for a minute, that grandma has cancer. She’s old and frail, somewhere in her 80’s and basically (like everyone else in the country under Hussein), broke. Well, let me help ya run the numbers on THAT scenario…. Gee, nice old white lady who voted conservative your whole life, I’m afraid the drugs, chemo and other treatment it would take to give you another 3 months on this rock would cost hundreds of thousands of dollars and quite frankly, grandma Obamoron fell down the stairs at the White House (where she lives RENT-FREE, unlike the mortgage you paid on your 2-bedroom house for 30 years) and might have sprained an ankle, so we are going to “divert funding” from your care to her because, after all, we “spend too much money at the end-of-life”, and that’s where you are. On the upside, it should be pretty easy to get your hands on soem marijuana to try to ease the incredible pain you must be suffering. But don’t worry, it’s all in the name of “change” for the greater collective good. Now if THAT doesn’t SCREAM Communism I don’t know what does.

Henry Louis Gates

Now, I am really at a loss for this absolute abortion of anything that makes any sort of sense at all. I mean for fuck’s sake- people call ME a racist for pointing out simple statistics like the crime rate, prison populations, and straight up well know FACTS about certain segments of the so-called “melting pot” that has become the voting population of the United States of America.
But THIS jackoff, because he is black, and a Harvard professor, and a friend of the Obamanation of a president we somehow managed to elect, is allowed to exhibit behavior that would get anyone else in the country thrown into the back of a squad car and hauled off to the crowbar motel. Not only that, Hussein (without having any clue as to the FACTS of the case – kinda reminds me of his endorsement of the “health care plan” but I digress (and that HAS been known to happen- or maybe it’s not a coincidence that the idiot just talks with out having a CLUE of not only what the fuck he is saying, much less the real-world consequences- but then again why would a liberal retard idiot moron fuckhead want to worry about anything so trivial as the real-world consequences of their assinine thinking)) calls the cops STUPID! Well, if that don’t make ya wanna take an oath and put your life on the line every day for an unlivable salary, I just don’t know what will!
I guess my point with all this is- the longer we allow this kind of shit to go on, the harder it’s gonna be to ever restore any credibility to America. Not to even mention the fact that if this abortion of common sense (and every other kind of sense for that matter) known as ObamaCare is allowed to pass we will NEVER recover from it. And the problem is this- for ALL our history America has been the place for people to go and start over under the freedom of our Constitution. If that idiot you retards voted for is allowed to pass his assinine liberal agenda, he will KILL America. And then, where do WE have to go to start over????