The Daily Retard Blog about Stupid People Idiots and Morons on Video

Well, as my good buddy Dr. Dave was kind enough to point out via a well-deserved comment on this post, I managed to get not-so-daily again…. So here I am, back at it and mad as fucking hell at the Goddamn liberal fucktards running this Country (into the ground…). First, a little picture for y’all. I imagine you have seen it before, but it’s so damn true that it bears re-posting. I don’t know where it came from, I grabbed it from a webmaster message board. But obviously it was taken somewhere in Texas.

Now as if that simple fact isn’t glaringly obvious, you owe it to yourself to watch this video of Al Gore on CNN trying to say that the ClimateGate emails are “out of context” and a “controversy without real substance”. Now, the asskissing in this clip is enough to make my fucking stomach turn, and seeing Al Gore makes me want to smash things with a hammer, but you owe it to yourself to watch it and see the kind of bullshit these liberal fuckheads continue to spew, when faced with undeniable proof of the junk science that is global warming.

These fuckhead treehugging idiot dumbfuck jackass retarded fuckhead morons are so out of touch with reality there really is no hope for them. And Al Gore has got to be the ringleader of the three ring circus of lies and bullshit, even though HE ADMITS HE HASN’T READ ALL THE EMAILS. This is the kind of shit that happens when you take a bunch of elitist liberal dumbasses like college professors and PHD’s, give them a BUNCH of government grants to play around in labs to advance your ridiculous liberal agenda of “global warming” and they actually discover the truth- that there is no such thing. But- if the truth were to get out, how many millions (or billions) of dollars would they lose? Not to mention the fact that they would be forced to face the fact that their own beliefs are dead wrong. These fucking asspuppets- Al Gore, the “scientists” (and I use that term pretty loosely in this case), the fuckheads at this Copenhagen summit, and every other stupid liberal tree-hugging, Prius-driving, global-warming-believing idiot on the planet- are a bunch of soul-less pieces of whaleshit and they all deserve to rest at the bottom of the ocean because after all, that’s where the whaleshit belongs.

For the purpose of this discussion, I am referring to the dumbass liberals inside the beltway, that merry bunch of elected fuckheads responsible for the current state of affairs in this country and in such complete and total blind denial of the damage they have already caused and continue to cause that they march ever forward advancing their Marxist agenda without a single thought or consideration to what they are doing to our Country. I think what the REAL problem with these fucktards is that they are so totally insulated from any semblance of what normal Americans call reality they honestly have NO CLUE what they are doing to us. Look for a minute at the strongholds of so-called liberals in our society- the Hollywood elite, tenured college professors (and the education system in general), organized labor union leaders and the mainstream media. I mean, for Christ’s sake! NO ONE in ANY of those groups has EVER had an actual job, any idea how to actually work for a living, no idea how to create anything, no experience whatsoever in the real world. And THESE are the people that are “advising” the dumbass liberals who currently hold an overwhelming and likely unconstitutional majority in Washington. How the fuck can you blame them for their stupidity?? I mean, if dumbass liberals had any common sense, they wouldn’t BE liberal so the puppets continue to let the above-mention groups of fucking retarded idiot morons continue to pull their strings, rather than listening to the deafening (and growing DAILY) roar of the American public SCREAMING at them that we don’t want the bill of goods they are trying to sell- by “sell” of course I mean shove down our collective throats and shove up our collective asses.

So I was driving around today in my big-ass Hemi-powered, rainforest-destroying, gas-guzzling Dodge Ram and listening to talk radio and I heard some numbers that actually made me smile from ear to fucking ear…. Apparently, depending on the source, Ba-Cracked Insane Obamarx’s approval numbers are anywhere from the mid-40’s to the upper 30’s- inching ever closer to actually being lower the unemployment rate which as you recall I predicted would happen. A mere 30% of Americans approve of what the dumass liberals in Congress are doing. 30 FUCKING PERCENT! Are you kidding me? For a government of the polls, by the polls and for the polls you would THINK this MIGHT get the fuckheads to take a little notice but so far I haven’t seen it. But this last one here is my favorite- nearly HALF the country would rather still have Dubya as president than the current Obamination living in the religion-neutral-for-Christmas White House. What more proof do you need that the jackass hates America? What the FUCK is more American than Christmas??? One more bit of good news- 20% of Americans want Ba-Cracked Insane Obamarx impeached! I have no idea what the HELL is wrong with the other 80%, but I guess the “hope” I have is that they will “change” their minds….

Well, like I tweeted earlier today, I have had it right up to my fucking eyeballs with automated phone systems when you call customer service. After spending 10 minutes punching through automated menu systems to do such things as “better assist me” and “streamline the call process” and countless other ridiculous catch phrases thought up in boardrooms and planning committees full of retarded fucking morons who don’t have anything better to do than come up with ways to complicated unnecessarily even the simplest of procedures, I just fucking LOVE IT when someone with a pulse actually answers the call (thanking me, of course, for my patience), only to ask me the same fucking shit I just typed (or spoke if you happen to be one of the last three people on the PLANET with a rotary phone)! How the fuck is this helpful? Why the fuck can’t they just have someone to answer the god damned phone????

Case in point- my internet connection was fucked up ALL DAY yesterday. Pages were taking forever to load, the connection was dropping and failing miserable the tests at both speedtest.net and pingtest.net. So I got off to work and figure it should be sorted by the time I get home. 7 hours later, and same old shit. I try resetting the router and cable modem- no luck. I try removing the splitter and plugging the AC cord directly into the wall outlet- no luck. I try eliminating the router all together and going directly from the cable outlet to the modem to the computer via USB- no luck. So at this point we’ve managed to narrow it down to SOMETHING that is the cable company’s problem, either the modem or the signal on the line. So I throw down 4 BIG shots of Jack Daniels and get ready to call in…. Keep in mind, it’s 1:00 AM. After spending 10 minutes “describing” my problem to the automated system, being told about the “unexpectedly high call volume”, told repeatedly how much my “business is appreciated”, being told for faster service I should visit cablecompany.com (oh, yeah, why didn’t I think of that? What better way to get resolution to an internet connection problem than to VISIT A FUCKING WEBSITE???), entering various security information like my phone number, alternate phone number, house number, ZIP code, social security number, wedding anniversary, city of birth, mother’s maiden name, the name of the third school I attended, high school mascot, name of my first pet, my middle child’s blood type and clotting factor, and my brithday; I FINALLY get through to some VERY pleasant woman named Michelle. I don’t think Michelle likes her job very much…. But she DID speak English, so at least there was that. After “describing the problem” AGAIN, Michelle then decided to run some remote tests on the modem. It turns out she WAS able to verify that it wasn’t working. Well no fucking shit- if it worked I wouldn’t be calling!!! So now I’ve got nearly 20 minutes of my life I WILL NEVER GET BACK invested into a phone call that so far has done nothing but verify I problem I already knew I had. Michelle has now informed me that my modem isn’t connected to the internet. But wait, I say, it is working it’s just working VERY slow. No, she says, it’s not working at all. How does she know this?, I ask. Because her computer said so. But wait, I say. My computer says it IS working because I just logged in to The Daily Retard to approve a comment, but it took 8 fucking minutes to get there. Now, it seems, we have a discrepancy as to what the “problem” is, the last 25 minutes have apparently been a complete fucking waste, since now we can’t seem to agree on the “nature of the problem”. What next, I ask…. She says they will need to schedule a service appointment. OK fine, I say, just get my fucking internet fixed because there is a lot of retarded shit going on that I need to be bitching about. Fine, she says… But before she can do that, she just has to “verify a few security items”, to make sure she is talking to the right person. WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE!!! What the hell did I do all that shit for already? And how the fuck were you able to test MY modem, if you weren’t sure it was fucking ME you were talking to???? So back we go through the whole fucking list, only to determine that the earliest a tech can visit is Tuesday between 8AM and 1PM (thanks ALOT for narrowing THAT down to half the fucking day). So I set it up, thinking I can rant and rage from Caribou in the morning (by now it’s nearly 2AM). She says if the internet is working in the morning, the “system” will detect it and should auto-cancel the service call. Fair enough- I get up this morning and it IS working just fine. But I get thinking, I better just check on the “system” to make sure there won’t be some cable guy at the house at 8AM wanting to fix a problem that no longer exists, and send me a bill for it…. .So I call in AGAIN, go through the automation bullshit “to allow me a better customer service experience” and believe it or not, the appointment was still in the system…. Well, after only an additional 25 minutes of my life I will NEVER get back, we were able to get the appointment canceled. I will keep you posted tomorrow as to whether or not the cable guy pays me a visit…

Well, after the clusterfuck with the cable company I was gonna let the political stupidity go for today, but this worthless bitch senator Mary Landrieu from Louisiana is NOT getting a pass on what is, simply put, outright theft from the American people, and a bald-faced BRIBE from douchebag of the week Harry Reid. As if the fact that Harry “Asshat” Reid BOUGHT (and by bought I mean BRIBED) her cloture vote with $100,000,000.00 neatly tucked into the abortion of a health care bill the senate Commies managed to puke up in their little committee meetings, this worthless sack of thieving SHIT comes out to correct the terms of the deal, er… BRIBE. “Oh, no, it wasn’t $100,000,000 of hard-earned US taxpayer dollars “redistributed” from the federal government to the state of Louisiana, it’s $300,000,000.00! Get it right, guys!”

Somebody please tell me what the fucking fuck this is?? Do yourself a favor and WATCH the video- and listen to the LameStream media FUCKHEADS actually try to justify this bullshit. A THREE HUNDRED MILLION DOLLAR CARROT?? Are you fucking KIDDING ME??? This is so fucked up on so many levels I can’t even really figure out where to start. I do know this much- these scumbags CANNOT be allowed to continue to operate like this. OR…. maybe I have o-dumbo and his merry bunch of cummie fuckheads figured all wrong- maybe THIS is the transparency he promised. No more back-room hidden deals, just throw all the shit right out in the open for everyone to see…..

OK motherfuckers I am back and I am mad as fucking hell today. The focus of today’s tirade will be slimebag credit card company Capital One. If you came here looking for The Retard’s thoughts on politics of the day, fret not and scroll down. But if you wanna hear about my thoughts on these bloodsucking motherfuckers at Capital One, do I have a treat for you….

So listen, in the interest of being honest and up-front with my readers, because you all are ultimately the ones I care about and as such you all deserve the truth. Before I get into telling you EXACTLY how fucking STUPID Capital One credit cards are, and the kind of shit they pull, let me say this. In March of 2007 I filed Chapter 7 bankruptcy. It is not something I am proud of. However, over time it is something I have learned not to be terribly ashamed of, either. It is simply something that happened as a result of circumstances both in AND out of my control. Mrs. Retard had medical bills. We just had twins in addition to my (at that time) 4 year old. Shortly after I had quit my part time job (because even though I don’t sleep much, I DO need a little every day), I got laid off from my full-time job. The housing market was just beginning it’s downward spiral, we had nothing left to borrow against and a nearly $6,000.00 per month drop in income. You do the math. It is (was) what it is (was).
Anyway, included in part of my bankruptcy estate were two accounts with Capital One totally round-about $4,000.00 that were discharged under the bankruptcy court. Like I said, it was what it was. I felt bad about not being able to repay the debt, but the money was not there. Now, if this was the end of the story it wouldn’t be nearly as retarded as it is. So here goes- NOT EVEN TWO WEEKS after my bankruptcy was discharged, I get a “pre-approved” credit offer from Capital One! A $3500.00 credit line, no less…. Well, I am thinking what better way to get a good credit rating re-established than to get a new credit card and use it to pay it off…. So I accept the pre approved credit line and get to charging. AND PAYING! This goes on for a year or so, charging small balances and paying them in full every month. Hey, The Retard LEARNED something from the classes and shit about responsible use of credit- YEA! Then, the tranny goes out in Mrs. Retard’s Jeep and bada-bing: $2500.00 goes onto the Capital One credit card to get a new tranny installed. And what do these motherfuckers do???? You guessed it! Raise the interest rate from 11% to 25%! For no fucking reason whatsoever.

Now there are laws against this sort of shit. Universal Default is what they call it. Basically, it’s a practice whereby scumbag asswipe credit card companies will raise your interest rate and/or cancel your account due to “bad performance” with another lender. Essentially it means you don’t have to pay Capital One late in order for them to change terms of your agreement. BUT…. and this is a BIG BUT, they claim they don’t engage in this behavior! So when I asked them why in the fuck they raised my rate, they said it was “to maintain profitability on the account”. WHAT A BUNCH OF FUCKING BULLSHIT!!!!! Now, as part of these “change in account terms”, you have the right to “refuse” the change in terms by canceling your account and paying it off under the existing terms. Sounds great, right? Well, if you understand ANYTHING about the way credit scoring works you will see the total assfuck involved in this move. Your credit rating is based on a number of things, one of which is the percentage of credit USED vs. the percentage of credit AVAILABLE. So, for arguments sake and to make the numbers work easily, let’s say you have 4 credit cards each with a $2500.00 credit limit. Let’s say you have a balance due on each of $250.00. Your “utilization” is 10%, which is not at all bad… Now, let’s say the tranny on your Jeep goes out and you have to charge $2500.00 to fix it. Your total credit used has just gone from $1000.00 to $3500.00, against a total credit line available of $10,000.00. So your “utilization rate” has SPIKED to 35%, which is still not AWFUL but it not nearly as good. Now, to further compound the credit screwjob these assholes like Capital One try to pull, let’s say you close the account (AFTER they dubiously attempt to raise your interest rate). So, you still owe $3500.00, but your total credit available just dropped by 25% to $7500.00 which is a “utilization rate” of 46.7% which will DEFINITELY have a negative impact on your credit score. Are you starting to see how these loser scumbag credit card companies operate??? Oh just wait, because it gets better!
One thing I didn’t mention is that Mrs. Retard DIDN’T file bankruptcy…. She had an OLD (like 5 years old) Capital One credit card that very rarely had a balance. Shortly after they decide to “maintain profitability on MY account, they pull the same shit with HER! Now in the 5 year history of her credit card account there was almost NEVER a balance and NEVER a single late payment! BUT, the assholes at Capital One decided they also needed to “maintain profitability” on her account and they jack her rate up as well! So we decide, FUCK CAPITAL ONE and cancel both accounts, pay them off under the existing terms and try to minimize the damage to our credit ratings. Now as Ron White would say, “I told you that story so I could tell you this story”…. What the fuck do you suppose shows up in the mail last week? You guessed it! Brand new “pre-approved credit card offers” from Capital One for BOTH OF US! This has got to be the dumbest most retarded thing I have ever fucking heard of (well OK, except for ObaMarx and Botoxi)….

These stupid communist lying motherfuckers in the White House have really sunk to a new low with this shit. They KNOW good and God damned well their “stimulus” (read:Porkulus) bill is an complete and total EPIC FUCKING FAILURE. The KNOW they are TOO FUCKING STUPID to ever be able to fix the economy. They KNOW good and fucking well they are going to be TORCHED in the mid-term elections in 2010. They KNOW they are fucked. And this is the part that should simultaneously scare the living shit out of you AND piss you off to no fucking end…. THEY THINK YOU ARE STUPID! So what do they do to try to “spin” the EPIC FUCKING FAILURE OF EACH AND EVERY SINGLE FUCKING POLICY THOSE STUPID LIBERAL MORON FUCKHEAD JACKASSES HAVE ENACTED SINCE THE DAY THAT IDIOT TOOK THE OATH OF OFFICE AND DESECRATED THE WHITE HOUSE WITH HIS ILLEGAL PRESENCE?????

They “invent” hundreds of millions of dollars spent and thousands of jobs “created and saved” in congressional districts all across the country that don’t even fucking exist! Boy, this sure in the fuck is “transparency” and a “change you can believe in”….. I will leave you for today with a video to watch and a simple question- What the FUCK is it going to take to convince people that this IDIOT needs to be removed from office? How much MORE damage are we going to allow this obamination of an administration to cause before coming to our collective senses and booting his sorry ass THE FUCK OUT OF HERE?????

Just a quick little update here, as the results are not final yet, but, like that asspuppet in the Verizon commercial says, “Do you hear me now?”. As in, like the title says, “DO YOU STUPID LIBERAL MOTHERFUCKERS HERE ME NOW????” Thank God almighty for the good sense of the people in New Jersey and Virginia. At time of posting, Fox IS calling Virginia for Robert F. McDonnell and they are holding off calling New Jersey for Chris Christie instead of liberal douchbag Corzine but I have faith, brothers! As far as NY23, those stupid liberal motherfuckers can go straight-up FUCK THEMSELVES. That stupid liberal RINO bitch Scuzzafuckhead can bend over and shove that abortion of a health care bill up her ass one page at a time. That turncoat piece of shit, endorsing the fucking democrat, makes me want to fucking vomit…
We are not even CLOSE to being finished getting rid of these liberal Marxism scumbag America-hating, Constitution-ignoring, nation-destroying communist stupid dumbass motherfuckers, BUT…. even a president as Obaminably STUPID as hussein and the rest of his left wing radical dumbass fuckhead administration *should* be able to see that people DO NOT WANT ANY MORE OF THEIR LIBERAL BULLSHIT. We are talking about counties and districts that voted for the Obamoron by a large majority that have now done almost a total and complete 180, and gone for the Republicans. THIS IS GOOD NEWS, BROTHERS!!!
This is all I have for you tonight, I will end my post with a video of the USS New York. If any of you are ignorant enough NOT to know the story about this, it is the new Navy ship built from the steel salvaged from Ground Zero of the Twin Towers. The great Americans who had a hand in building this great warship were overwhelmed with pride and emotion, many were moved to tears realizing the true weight of their contribution and the gravity of the legacy they were creating. As I watched the live footage of her pulling into New York harbor, it was hard for me to contain my emotions. What a fantastic and fitting tribute to the 2998 Americans murdered by cocksucker scumbag muslim terrorists on that awful day. Please watch and enjoy the story.

***EDIT- Oh thank fucking Christ! As I was getting ready to publish this post, Fox has called the race in NJ for Christie. Corzine, you liberal scumbag asspuppet, enjoy your retirement MOTHERFUCKER!!!