FuckHeads at the Grocery Store
OK, so I was all set to write about the upcoming holiday and my thoughts on our “freedom”, until I went to the grocery store. All I wanted to do was get some hot dogs and shit to grill for the kids tonight, but things went very wrong…
Could there be a better place to run into the absolute dregs of humanity that the grocery store? I for one don’t think so. Maybe WalMart, but that’s a topic for another day. Now, I live in a second-ring suburb kind of a place, so it’s not like we’re talking about the inner city and shit like that. Mostly what I have is a bunch of fat suburban housewives (what a total disappointment to their hard-working husbands who never knew that when they said “I do”, she said “I graze”, but anyway), and welfare cases who are buying food using MY money (what a total disappointment to absolutely everything except Al Gore and Obamorn).
I REALLY Need Some Doritos
OK, anyway, back to the fuckheads at the grocery store. First, lets discuss the employees- and this I will temper just a bit because they actually DO have jobs. But seriously, would it KILL some of these losers to take a fucking shower before they punch in? I wouldn’t think so, but for some reason it doesn’t seem like simple hygiene is a condition of employment at the local market. And second of all, put on your fucking uniform. For chrissake, all they ask is that you wear a gray shirt and a nametag, that way when I see you pushing a bunch of carts in the parking lot, I know you actually work there and aren’t trying to sell them to bums or some shit. More on carts later….
On to the real fuckheads- the shoppers… I mean, come on people, if your ass is so fucking FAT that its impossible for me to get around you in the aisle, please think about staying home and inside during the day (ie. out of the public view) and do your shopping in the middle of the night when there are no small children around for you to scare. Seriously, some of the ass I saw today was so fucking huge there could actually have been small children swallowed up in the cracks and folds and no one would ever know.
What Aisle Did You Say the CAKE Was In?
And then we have the fucking change counters- you know those idiots, the ones that have to count out every single last fucking penny and pay with exact change. Like a fucking quarter would kill you! Seriously people, do you have NO CONCEPT of the value of time? And if you own time is so fucking worthless to you that you can spend 5 minutes digging through the suitcase you call a purse to find a penny, then goddammit think about the 14 people in line behind you who actually have LIVES and things to do, and get the HELL out of my way. The dumb bitch in question here, after spending literally FIVE MINUTES digging through her purse for A FUCKING PENNY, then decided she was overcharged for cupcakes. And trust me when I tell you, the LAST thing this cow needed was a fucking cupcake.
But anyway, now that I have wasted 5 minutes on a useless penny search I was forced to wait for the dreaded “price check”. You know the price check, where the dumbass fat bitch welfare case cashier has to page over the intercom for some pothead drunk teenage retard from the bakery department to come up and look at the 6-pack of cupcakes to make sure they should be $3.29 instead of $2.99… Goddammit! We’re talking about thirty fucking cents here, people! The time it takes junior to put down his bong and stagger his stupid stoned ass up to the counter is worth more than $.30, not to mention the fact that by the time he stumbles back to the cupcake rack he will have forgotten what he’s looking for anyway and just make something up….
I NEED A Happy Meal, Mom!!
And now my favorite- the parking lot. These fat pig loser fuckheads who leave the grocery store with $200 worth of processed garbage foods that shouldn’t be served to barnyard animals, and food that MY tax dollars paid for, who are then too fucking lazy to walk the extra 10 feet to put the cart into the cart corral thing where the brain-dead morons who have to push the carts back into the store for the next crop of idiots- THOSE are the ones that REALLY piss me off. Really people, how fucking hardis it to push the cart into it’s little cage? That way, you aren’t blocking up parking spaces, or leaving it somewhere where the cart will roll into my car, and at least you are doing SOMETHING to justify your sorry pathetic loser existence… This shit just confuses me to no fucking end….
So, on my way out for the day, please enjoy this video of some of the same loser idiot moron fuckhead stupid people I see on a daily basis reacting to Popeyes Chicken in Minneapolis NOT honoring a nationwide “special”. If you like retards you will LOVE these fuckers!
More Shit You Might Like
You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
October 10th, 2009 at 2:50 pm
it would have sounded way better if u didnt use too many swear words
October 10th, 2009 at 5:31 pm
no name-
You are certainly allowed to your opinion…. Thanks for stopping by.
The ‘Tard
November 14th, 2009 at 2:17 pm
“What aisle is the cake on, again?” lol! Most disturbing pictures I have seen all day. This article is VERY true!
November 29th, 2009 at 11:08 pm
I feel your pain brother. My job involves dealing with some of the stupidest mother fuckers ever born. It is so bad, my co-workers will cyber slap these idiots and not one of them have asked what that sound was. Morons. I mean is it realy that hard to keep you gap closed? A closed gap gathers no retards. Keep the fire buring brothers. One day we will win the war.