Stupid Fucking Retards at Capital One Credit Cards
OK motherfuckers I am back and I am mad as fucking hell today. The focus of today’s tirade will be slimebag credit card company Capital One. If you came here looking for The Retard’s thoughts on politics of the day, fret not and scroll down. But if you wanna hear about my thoughts on these bloodsucking motherfuckers at Capital One, do I have a treat for you….
Capital One Credit Cards SUCK
So listen, in the interest of being honest and up-front with my readers, because you all are ultimately the ones I care about and as such you all deserve the truth. Before I get into telling you EXACTLY how fucking STUPID Capital One credit cards are, and the kind of shit they pull, let me say this. In March of 2007 I filed Chapter 7 bankruptcy. It is not something I am proud of. However, over time it is something I have learned not to be terribly ashamed of, either. It is simply something that happened as a result of circumstances both in AND out of my control. Mrs. Retard had medical bills. We just had twins in addition to my (at that time) 4 year old. Shortly after I had quit my part time job (because even though I don’t sleep much, I DO need a little every day), I got laid off from my full-time job. The housing market was just beginning it’s downward spiral, we had nothing left to borrow against and a nearly $6,000.00 per month drop in income. You do the math. It is (was) what it is (was).
Anyway, included in part of my bankruptcy estate were two accounts with Capital One totally round-about $4,000.00 that were discharged under the bankruptcy court. Like I said, it was what it was. I felt bad about not being able to repay the debt, but the money was not there. Now, if this was the end of the story it wouldn’t be nearly as retarded as it is. So here goes- NOT EVEN TWO WEEKS after my bankruptcy was discharged, I get a “pre-approved” credit offer from Capital One! A $3500.00 credit line, no less…. Well, I am thinking what better way to get a good credit rating re-established than to get a new credit card and use it to pay it off…. So I accept the pre approved credit line and get to charging. AND PAYING! This goes on for a year or so, charging small balances and paying them in full every month. Hey, The Retard LEARNED something from the classes and shit about responsible use of credit- YEA! Then, the tranny goes out in Mrs. Retard’s Jeep and bada-bing: $2500.00 goes onto the Capital One credit card to get a new tranny installed. And what do these motherfuckers do???? You guessed it! Raise the interest rate from 11% to 25%! For no fucking reason whatsoever.
Now there are laws against this sort of shit. Universal Default is what they call it. Basically, it’s a practice whereby scumbag asswipe credit card companies will raise your interest rate and/or cancel your account due to “bad performance” with another lender. Essentially it means you don’t have to pay Capital One late in order for them to change terms of your agreement. BUT…. and this is a BIG BUT, they claim they don’t engage in this behavior! So when I asked them why in the fuck they raised my rate, they said it was “to maintain profitability on the account”. WHAT A BUNCH OF FUCKING BULLSHIT!!!!! Now, as part of these “change in account terms”, you have the right to “refuse” the change in terms by canceling your account and paying it off under the existing terms. Sounds great, right? Well, if you understand ANYTHING about the way credit scoring works you will see the total assfuck involved in this move. Your credit rating is based on a number of things, one of which is the percentage of credit USED vs. the percentage of credit AVAILABLE. So, for arguments sake and to make the numbers work easily, let’s say you have 4 credit cards each with a $2500.00 credit limit. Let’s say you have a balance due on each of $250.00. Your “utilization” is 10%, which is not at all bad… Now, let’s say the tranny on your Jeep goes out and you have to charge $2500.00 to fix it. Your total credit used has just gone from $1000.00 to $3500.00, against a total credit line available of $10,000.00. So your “utilization rate” has SPIKED to 35%, which is still not AWFUL but it not nearly as good. Now, to further compound the credit screwjob these assholes like Capital One try to pull, let’s say you close the account (AFTER they dubiously attempt to raise your interest rate). So, you still owe $3500.00, but your total credit available just dropped by 25% to $7500.00 which is a “utilization rate” of 46.7% which will DEFINITELY have a negative impact on your credit score. Are you starting to see how these loser scumbag credit card companies operate??? Oh just wait, because it gets better!
One thing I didn’t mention is that Mrs. Retard DIDN’T file bankruptcy…. She had an OLD (like 5 years old) Capital One credit card that very rarely had a balance. Shortly after they decide to “maintain profitability on MY account, they pull the same shit with HER! Now in the 5 year history of her credit card account there was almost NEVER a balance and NEVER a single late payment! BUT, the assholes at Capital One decided they also needed to “maintain profitability” on her account and they jack her rate up as well! So we decide, FUCK CAPITAL ONE and cancel both accounts, pay them off under the existing terms and try to minimize the damage to our credit ratings. Now as Ron White would say, “I told you that story so I could tell you this story”…. What the fuck do you suppose shows up in the mail last week? You guessed it! Brand new “pre-approved credit card offers” from Capital One for BOTH OF US! This has got to be the dumbest most retarded thing I have ever fucking heard of (well OK, except for ObaMarx and Botoxi)….
ObaMarx LIES About Jobs Created
These stupid communist lying motherfuckers in the White House have really sunk to a new low with this shit. They KNOW good and God damned well their “stimulus” (read:Porkulus) bill is an complete and total EPIC FUCKING FAILURE. The KNOW they are TOO FUCKING STUPID to ever be able to fix the economy. They KNOW good and fucking well they are going to be TORCHED in the mid-term elections in 2010. They KNOW they are fucked. And this is the part that should simultaneously scare the living shit out of you AND piss you off to no fucking end…. THEY THINK YOU ARE STUPID! So what do they do to try to “spin” the EPIC FUCKING FAILURE OF EACH AND EVERY SINGLE FUCKING POLICY THOSE STUPID LIBERAL MORON FUCKHEAD JACKASSES HAVE ENACTED SINCE THE DAY THAT IDIOT TOOK THE OATH OF OFFICE AND DESECRATED THE WHITE HOUSE WITH HIS ILLEGAL PRESENCE?????
They “invent” hundreds of millions of dollars spent and thousands of jobs “created and saved” in congressional districts all across the country that don’t even fucking exist! Boy, this sure in the fuck is “transparency” and a “change you can believe in”….. I will leave you for today with a video to watch and a simple question- What the FUCK is it going to take to convince people that this IDIOT needs to be removed from office? How much MORE damage are we going to allow this obamination of an administration to cause before coming to our collective senses and booting his sorry ass THE FUCK OUT OF HERE?????
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November 18th, 2009 at 4:01 am
Great photo with the story! Capital One sounds like a bad credit card. I have never used them. I remember there was a reason, but don’t know exactly what it was. Bad vibes, maybe.
Stimulus 2, Health care takeover and cap and tax must be stopped. I hope the Chinese can sway Obama and the legislators to rein in the spending.
Thanks so much for having my blog on RSS feed. It is an honor. <3
November 18th, 2009 at 4:06 am
Opie- just so you know…. it’s not me in the picture
~
And how twisted is it that we are now getting “advice” from the Chinese communists???
How much longer can this go on?
November 18th, 2009 at 6:08 am
Awesome. A bankrupt with credit cards trying to determine the terms of his debt.
I’d pay them off in total right now…
…oh, wait, you can’t!
November 18th, 2009 at 10:51 am
Ha ha. Naw. I assumed you were the cameraman.
November 18th, 2009 at 1:58 pm
@Balls, you are obviously missing the point…. And for the record, I have the cash to pay off the remaining balance but I don’t because in this fucked-up obamination of an economy, CASH is worth a hell of a lot more than credit….
Anyway, please keep your “insightful” comments coming.
November 18th, 2009 at 2:11 pm
[...] Stupid Fucking Retards at Capital One Credit Cards | The Daily … [...]
November 22nd, 2009 at 2:40 am
Capital One is the scumbag king of credit card companies.
Bank of America is right up there too on the fuck the consumer meter.
It’s only going to get worse before it gets better, with the change in rules, they’re gonna soak us as much as they can before the laws go into effect.
December 13th, 2009 at 4:44 pm
You don’t have to pay any credit card off. We charged 5 of our cards to the MAX. Sent them a cease and desist letter, moved, sold the house told the profit of $35,000.00 from the house and the $30,000 from the Credit Cards Cash-out feature, bought a new car and rent from now on.!!!! Haven’t heard from any of them for over a Year now!! Such is life.
December 16th, 2009 at 7:16 pm
I see I am late to the party in commenting here, but this post is so ironically stupid that I had to comment. Do you see the irony of a right wingnut like yourself declaring bankruptcy because you lack decent health insurance? Talk about shitting in your own hat!
Naturally, it makes sense for you blame Obama because you are an irresponsible low life, and choose not to pay your bills at the expensive of self-sufficient, play by the rules types like myself. You do realize that you reneged on your word to pay your bills two years before he took office. Don’t you?
I love this site! It’s a nice place to come and get my daily dose of stupid.
December 19th, 2009 at 12:55 pm
Shark Sandwich, or should I say stupid fucking dumb bastard who can even read a simple fucking blog post, next time you choose to TRY to call me out on my little blog, why don’t you try actually READING THE FUCKING POST before trying to sound like you know what the fuck you are talking about OR thinking your opinion even fucking matters….
I am approving the comment because you are exactly the kind of people that piss me off to no end and hence the inspiration for the blog. But really, don’t think for a minute your comment matters OR is in any way correct…
Why don’t you try reading the post and then see if you can’t come up with a comment worth reading?
December 20th, 2009 at 2:45 am
I read the post – a few times – and, yes, it’s a little difficult to follow, what with all the big words and complex arguments and all. Just kidding. Oh God. It’s the funniest thing I’ve read in a long time. I swear, I thought this was a parody site.
So, you have no idea how the credit card and insurance industries operate? Never took the time to research Capital One before you signed up for a credit card and put your credit rating in their hands – with no job! Who does that? Not this liberal. And what kind of company do you think grants credit to someone without a job? A predatory company, perhaps? One that revels in unregulated, laissez faire captialism, perhaps?
And you complain about all the stupid fucking liberal idiot morons out there, while you’re completely ignorant of the fact that deregulation allows for insurance and credit card companies to drop you or jack your rates up… And you’re pissed off? About what? This is what you support. Jeezusghod… And then you blame Obama for the fact that you won’t pay off your balance?
Seems a little weak of you to tell Mr. Shark to “read,” when you couldn’t bother to read your credit card contract or even the legislation you support.
Heh.
December 22nd, 2009 at 10:55 am
So it seems that the point of the post STILL manages to escape you libtards…. First of all, tell me where I ever said I didn’t pay my medical bills. There was not a SINGLE ONE included in the bankruptcy. Second of all, tell me where I blame that fuckhead obama (or anyone besides myself) for the bankruptcy. Because I didn’t.
So obviously you guys are reading the post at least as well as the fuckheads in DC who are jamming this abortion of a health care bill up the ass of the Americans by not bothering to read the bill before voting on it.
As far as the stupidity of Capital One- I am well aware of their reputation and I am also able to read the contract. The ARE fucking stupid, if I borrowed money to someone, TWICE, and they didn’t pay me back I would STOP BORROWING THEM MONEY. Having said that, they are a company operating in the US and at time of this reply they are still free to conduct business however they see fit, so they can do what the fuck ever they want. They are free to raise my interest rate at any time, which they did. I am free to pay it off at any time (which I CAN but chose NOT TO). Why? Because in this absolute goatfuck of an economy your Anointed One has created, I will keep as much as I can in cash (and lead and gold, but that’s the point of another post you libtards likely aren’t smart enough to understand).
So anyway, you liberal dipshits keep the comments coming, because I LOVE it when you guys prove my points for me….
December 22nd, 2009 at 2:44 pm
Hi,Tard.
One thing we do agree on is Capital One sucks. Bank of America sucks worse, by they way.
You are the one who said that you couldn’t pay Capital One $4K in debt. You also made as an excuse for reneging on your debt obligation the fact that you had medical bills. Regardless of who you owed, the point is that you reneged on your debt obligations, which is the point of bankruptcy. Doing this sticks to people like me who does pay my bills, and to shareholders of companies from whom you are stealing by going back on your word to pay your debt. You also did this as a consequence of not being able to afford your medical bills – and in the irony of all ironies, you use your blog to advocate against health care reform. You are too dumb to know that you are fucking yourself. That’s the problem with you fringe righties. You talk a big talk, but your word sucks, and spend money like drunken sailors, leaving others to clean up the mess you create. Just as I and the rest of the responsible part of society has to absorb your debt – i.e. pay your share, me and my kids and grandkids will be paying off the massive debt your boy created over the previous 8 years.
Oh, and you blamed Obama not in your post, but in this comment section when you wrote: “@Balls, you are obviously missing the point…. And for the record, I have the cash to pay off the remaining balance but I don’t because in this fucked-up obamination of an economy, CASH is worth a hell of a lot more than credit…”
You might be deluded, I do enjoy your blog, anyway; and I don’t hold any animosity toward you. Your a funny guy, and you seem like you’d be fun on a fishing or hunting trip. I just wouldn’t want you writing my term paper or as partner in Trivial Pursuit. I’m hoping that once your bankruptcy is fully discharged, you can put your big boy pants on, and start paying off your debt like the rest of responsible society.
December 22nd, 2009 at 6:15 pm
For the record, I graduated college with a 4.0 engineering GPA and a 3.85 overall GPA so you might wanna rethink your term paper and Trivial Pursuit stance….
Also for the record, I fish and hunt plenty with liberals and other people who seem unable to comprehend reality….
I did get lost when you got back to the old “progressive” stance on “blame Bush” though. Take a look at the graphic at the top of the blog- those numbers reflect obamoron’s economy. He has quadrupled the budget deficit in less than 10 months. They have increased spending another 12% in the face of massive tax revenue shortfalls directly caused by their stifling fiscal policies and attitude toward free market economics. Unemployment continues to creep upward and the morons in DC continue to spend (read- borrow) money like I used to.
If you wanna continue to rail on about my bankruptcy that is fine- your president still hasn’t repealed the 1st Amendment. I only have 2 more points to make about that and then I’m done with it. First, the amount of debt I discharged was less than the increase in the national debt in ONE SECOND and NONE of it was due to medical bills. I had insurance and paid the balance. And second- unlike Democrats I have learned from my mistakes and learned to live within my means. My credit score is over 720 and I have way more than enough cash to pay off every debt I owe. So it seems I’ve learned how to wear big boy pants….
Anyway, you can troll on about that to your heart’s content or you can move on- up to you. There will be more posts in the future and I’m sure you’ll have plenty more to say.
December 22nd, 2009 at 9:06 pm
I want to hug you, Tard. Not in a gay way (I know y’all you wingnuts don’t go for that shit), but in a way that I want to hug a kid who crosses the finish line in the Special Olympics.